Baby Portraits – Frisco Newborn Photographer – CLJ Photography
Baby Portraits – Frisco Newborn Photographer – CLJ Photography
I decided to blog this session a little differently – in the words of this Mother.
My pregnancy with Caroline was awesome. We found out we were going to have another little girl and we were over the moon. At 37 weeks, I went into labor. My husband rushed me to the hospital, I was just trying to not have her in the car. We finally made it to the hospital in just enough time to have a beautiful baby girl just minutes later. Labor with Caroline was super fast and the same euphoric moment that every mother understands.
We were told a couple hours after she was born that she had “physical characteristics” of having Down Syndrome. I really just wanted to tell that Doctor to get lost when she asked if we had any testing done. I remember feeling this hot wave come over my body, worried sick. Sitting there thinking to myself, I know nothing about Down Syndrome, I had never even been around someone who had Down Syndrome. What exactly does this mean? All the testing that we had done during my pregnancy came back negative for any abnormalities for goodness sake! How was this missed? So many thoughts, so many emotions.
I remember feeling so lost (more worried than anything) when we received the news about Caroline having Down Syndrome. I remember looking at the Doctor in shock and asking her one question. “Do I need to care for her any differently than a typical baby”? She said “No”.
I laid in that hospital bed that night, looking at our sweet baby girl and she was just perfect. Everything about her was just so perfect. So what if she has Down Syndrome, we’ve got this!
I laid there holding her and promised her that I would always be her biggest cheerleader, her advocate, her everything- as I wiped away the tears off my face I even chuckled and apologized to her that she was stuck with me forever.
When the Doctors said that Caroline had “physical characteristics” of having Down Syndrome, my husband and I held each other in the hospital, we cried but we knew we couldn’t change that. The Doctors really tried to make sure that we knew about the health issues that went along with her diagnosis. They took blood to confirm her diagnosis. She was perfectly healthy, everything was fine. Blood work came back when she was around 3 months old and it was then confirmed that she does in fact have Down Syndrome.
I think my husband took the diagnosis better than I did, especially the first few months of her life.
It wasn’t until I was able to let go of my pride and guilt and let myself feel everything. I let myself grieve. I let myself feel angry. I let myself not be ok with it. I even let myself feel sorry for myself. I admitted to God that I was not happy. That I was barely making it. I found that when I let myself truly feel the pain, with it came healing. It was like a burden had been lifted off my chest. I felt like I could finally take a deep breath and move forward. There is so much beauty to be found in the truth.
Today when I think about Down Syndrome, I no longer cry tears of sorrow but tears of gratitude. I am so glad God knows better than me and that he gave me the child that he did. I am proud of my daughter. I am proud that she has Down Syndrome. It really has been the biggest blessing in my life. I have been changed for the better. Caroline has brought beauty, growth, purpose, and passion into our lives and I would not change her for the world.
I would only change the world for her.
Our biggest challenge that we face is the unknown, she has been so blessed with great health. Another challenge is for everyone to see that Caroline is Caroline, not her diagnosis. Down Syndrome does not define her. We want everyone to see that she is our biggest blessing, she is just a child. Yes, she happens to have Down Syndrome but she CAN and WILL do everything a typical child does, it just may take a little longer.
It has been a year full of love, joy and growth for all of us!
I can’t imagine Caroline without Down Syndrome, it is part of who she is. Would I change her? Not her spirit, not her face, not her will, not her heart. Not the way she has taught me to slow down and stop expecting life to roll out exactly how I planned. Not her crescent moon eyes that squint into tiny slits every time she smiles or the way, her hand is in mine. I don’t worry so much about tomorrow because this moment right now demands all the emotion I can muster…and that is happiness. She exudes it. I will attempt to change what I can- the world around her. To value her, offer opportunities, expand its definition of beauty and success and to celebrate the many things that make all of us different. Caroline completes our family and brings a joy and love that not everyone is lucky enough to experience.
We are so blessed.
The very thing that terrified you the most will be the very thing you come to love most about your child. It is what sets them apart in all the very best of ways. Your child is going to teach you so much with their outlook on life, with their innocence and with their grace.
Together with our children, we will break down the perceptions of Down Syndrome. You and I will teach, we will raise awareness, we will advocate. This instant community will become your people that will stand with you linked arm in arm all fighting for their babies and shouting their worth from the rooftops. So many have gone before you and you will continue to tread through the waters and make room for your child.
You will find your voice as your confidence builds. Your confidence in yourself and that little baby of yours who is ready to take on the world.
Parenthood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It is about understanding your child is exactly the person they are supposed to be. And if you are lucky, they might be the teacher who turns you into the person you’re supposed to be.
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Aubrey, TX 76227
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